Heartbreaker
by Selene16
Summary: Angsty Kurtty fic. Kitty is forced to make a decision, leading up to an emotional arguement between her and Kurt.
1. The Decision

**-A/N:** Another quick fic that I came up with. Thanx to everyone that reviewed my last one. I felt really inspired to write again. So anyways, here's my latest Kurtty fic. It's angsty and may make some of you upset but don't worry, I'm a true blue Kurtty fan. I just wanted to try and write something sad. If I do find more inspiration, I will continue this. But for now, it's a one-shot fic. Enjoy! ^_^

**-Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters from X-men: Evolution. 

**-Heartbreaker**

**-By Selene Tsukino**

I saw his heart break. His eyes gave it away, filled with intense sorrow and pain. And all I could do was watch as I hurt him, as I broke the heart of the greatest friend I've had, one of the only people that truly understood me. But this had to be done.

He hadn't done nothing wrong…except fallen in love with me. Love was never wrong although falling for the wrong person only results in the waste of emotions. And that's exactly what he has done. He had fallen for a person that could never fully those feelings, that didn't deserve to receive what he had to give.

I turned away, my eyes clouding up with tears. I couldn't face those pale eyes. All I could see was him as I shut my eyes tight, willing the world to disappear or for this to be some horrible nightmare. But it was my harsh reality.

I felt his hand slide under my chin, slowly tilting my face so that I was facing him. But I kept my eyes shut…and felt like cursing the single tear that slipped down my cheek.

"Katzchen…" he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion.

I swallowed the sob that rose in my throat. I had to remain calm and composed…I had to bravely face my fate…the fate of a heartbreaker…

I blinked back the tears that were forming, now looking into his eyes again. His three-fingered hand slowly brushed away that single tear, delicately rubbing against my cheek. And the more I stared at him, the more I regretted my decision.

"I never meant to make you cry."

And the second he said that, I burst out into tears. I felt selfish. I felt ashamed. I also felt angry at both him and myself. Why does he love me? I'm not worth it. Why do I have to love him so much?

Without thinking, I flung myself into his open arms, sobbing hard against his chest. I knew that though I couldn't see his face, his eyes were filling with silent tears. As he began rubbing my back, I felt his body shake against mine as he held in his sorrow. He probably hoped that staying strong in front of me would make this easier. But nothing was ever easy.

I suddenly pushed myself away, sniffling and hiccoughing. My hands balled into fists at my sides and I forced my body to hold in whatever sobs were left. I couldn't play Kurt anymore. He deserved better.

"Ich liebe dich, Katzchen. And I know you feel the-"

"NO!" I shouted. I hiccoughed loudly and felt my heart plummet as he flinched.

"I can't keep doing this, Kurt! I can't, like, keep hurting you! You deserve someone that will love you unconditionally. Someone that hasn't broken your heart time and time again. You deserve someone…" I whispered, feeling my own heart break, "…that isn't me."

His ears twitched, eyes widening as I said those cursed words. His tail thrashed out in anger and his eyes suddenly narrowed in a glare.

"You don't have any right to tell me vhat I deserve! I deserve to love whoever I choose. And I think that if your feelings are as sincere as mein own, than I deserve you."

I buckled under the intensity of his glare. He looked so strong…so determined…but I knew, on the inside, he was shaking with fear. He had taken this too far. And the more I thought about his reluctance, the more angry I became.

"You idiot! Haven't you realized that this love, like, isn't worth fighting for?!"

I knew that I also had taken this game too far. I just threw the fact that the love between us, in my opinion, was worthless. And I knew that this hurt more than my decision.

I would have killed to not have to face him the moment I let that slip. His eyes went wild with pain. But he refused to back down.

"Katzchen. If this love wasn't worth fighting for, then vhy am I fighting for it?"

I suddenly didn't care that I loved him, didn't care that he was my best friend. All I cared about was his denial to accept the truth. And I threw that back in his face.

"If this love was worth fighting for, then why am I not fighting for it?! Get over it, Kurt! I chose Lance, not you!"

Before I could watch his heart break all over again, before I could shout out more cruel words, before I could even throw myself in his arms and change my mind, I stalked away to my room.

I couldn't face him. I knew in my heart that I wanted him more than anything in the entire world. But growing up, I had learned the hard way that we can't have what we don't deserve. I don't deserve the heart of a person that has loved me through and through, especially since all he ever received in return was my cruel rejection. From the start, I admitted to having feelings for him but hid it through my denial, always sitting back and 'pretending' to not notice his heart break. Now that I have come to terms with my emotions, I realize that he deserves someone that should have loved him without causing him any pain. That someone isn't me.

Sure, I love Lance. Although I do admit that maybe my attraction to him is through lust. But at least I won't hurt him like I hurt Kurt.

I collapsed on my bed, feeling the hot tears flow down my cheeks. But no sobs followed. No hiccoughs. Only the flow of silent tears that felt the cruelty of the world finally take its toll. I waited for that shoulder to return…for my best friend to wrap his arms around me and lightly kiss my forehead, reminding me that although life is cruel, I will always have him to lean on.

And for once, that shoulder wasn't there. I hurt him more than I ever hurt anyone else.

I truly didn't deserve his love.

**-End?**

**-Selene**

**-A/N:** Please review and tell me what you think. Yes, I know that the ending did suck but it could always change, if I add another chapter. I'm still considering it.


	2. Doubts

**-A/N**: Here is the second chapter to "Heartbreaker". I decided that I might as well continue it, seeing as so many of you wanted something more. Although this chapter isn't very eventful, it does deal with Kitty's emotions and her feelings towards Kurt. The next chapters will have more Kurtty-ness, I promise.

-Now, to explain the situation. Basically, Kitty and Kurt were never going out. Kitty was finally approached by Lance (earlier) and Kurt and the two of them told her how they felt for her. Kitty was then forced to make a decision (which is where this story begins) between the two. Thinking of taking the easier way, she chose Lance out of her desire to have a 'normal boyfriend', which leaves her doubting her shallow decision and Kurt to mope over the loss of his katzchen.

**-Diclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters of X-men: Evolution, just this fic.

**-Heartbreaker**

**-By Selene Tsukino**

It had been a week since I last talked to him. As each moment passed… as I watched him BAMPF just to get away from me… as I stared at the sulfuric smoke with tear-filled eyes…I felt regret. Regret stabbed at my heart like a sharpened dagger, pain filling my entire body as I dealt with the aftermath of our argument. I hurt my best friend…I broke his heart…and for what?

Sighing in despair, I gently placed my book on my stand. I could always say sorry… but my pride always got the best of me. Maybe it was better this way. At least now I'll stop crying to him about all my problems and stop leading him on. But who else will I turn to when I need a friend?

Glancing over at Rogue's empty bed, I felt my lips curve into a small, sad smile. Although I don't mind Rogue, the idea of her comforting me was both scary and shocking. She's a great person but she'd most likely slap me upside the head and say, "Get ova yurself, sugah!" before actually hugging me and telling me everything would be alright. God, how I need Kurt!

I felt tears sting my eyes for like the thousandth time this week. I missed how he would BAMPF and scare me….I missed his jokes and dazzling smile….I missed how his arms fit around me perfectly when he let me cry on his shoulder….but most of all, I missed him just being there, even if he wasn't talking to me, he would be just there for me. But, I guess Lance is supposed to take his place now.

Wiping away me tears, I reminded myself to remain calm and cheerful. Then, I pulled out my pink cell phone and dialed Lance's number.

~*~*~*~*~

Absently, I walked down the halls of the mansion, trying hard to concentrate on my novel. After putting off my earlier attempts to get some reading done, I decided now was better than ever since Lance eventually had to leave to 'do' something and keeping myself distracted would help me forget my problems.

Speaking of forgetting problems, I probably should have stayed in my room or at least went out to the mall or something. Turns out that walking down the halls, not paying attention to where I'm going, and also not listening to the shuffling of feet moving within my path was the worst way to avoid them, as I was about to discover.

It took only 2 quick seconds for the worst of my fears to happen. Within the first came the startled yelp of surprise, the big crash, and the tangling of two bodies on the hallway floor. Within the second came the shuffling of the tangled bodies untangling, the rubbing of the sore backside (his, not mine. I landed on top of him) and the stomach-churning realization of who I ran into.

"Kurt?!"

The shock and I-wish-I-were-dead tone of my voice echoed throughout the hall. Although a part of me was all nervous and anxious, I felt more fear than anything else. I wanted so much just to reach out and hug him…but I don't deserve his compassion.

I looked away from his beautiful yellow eyes, feeling my heart thud rapidly against my chest. Based on the past events of this week, I expected that cloud of sulfur to fill my nostrils at any moment and for my eyes to tear up again…but after the silence that followed, I found the courage to look at him. He seemed to have no intention of running from me.

"Sorry, Katzchen," he muttered.

He stood up and politely extended his hand, helping me get back on my feet. I absently dusted at my pink tank top, distracting myself from the nerve-wracking tension between us. Why do things have to get so complicated?

Feeling like a complete idiot, I asked, "So…what have you been, like, up to?"

His eyes became downcast and I inwardly cursed myself. It's only so obvious that both of us have been miserable!

"Vell, I have been valking to school…"

"Yeah. I noticed."

Silence followed.

How much more of this can I take?

I shifted on my feet, suddenly finding my sneakers to be fascinating. And then I felt it. I felt that single tear make its way down my cheek…dripping onto the edge of my chin…falling to the floor with an echoing splat…

I needed him now. If only to wipe away my tears…or to take me in his arms…or to tell me how great I was and flash me his dazzling smile…

Instead, he did the one thing that I never thought he would do.

"Later, Katzchen."

His voice sounded dead to me. And all I could do was let the tears fall as he walked by me, oblivious to my very existence. With each step that drove him farther away, I felt my heart drop farther down into my stomach, drowning as the realization of everything became clear.

"I guess I deserve that…"

~*~*~*~*~

Rogue was in our room when I arrived back, lazily sprawled across her bed and reading an article on some new gothic group. She barely bothered to look up as I collapsed on my bed, trying my hardest to hold back my sobs. But, then again, her comforting me would just be weird.

And although I didn't expect her to comfort me, I expected her to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, which, at the moment, became more of a silent plea than an actual expectation as I felt her gloved hand lightly grasp my shaking left shoulder.

"Ain't his fault, ya know."

Lifting my face from my pink comforter, I looked up into her olive eyes questioningly.

"Ah know yur cryin cause he ain't around much," she started, "but how could ya blame the guy?"

At that moment, I realized that there was more to Rogue than her "touch me-and die" attitude. It almost didn't kick in that she obviously understood what was going on. Maybe her reclusive ways made her more aware of the people around her. Or maybe she had talked to Kurt about it.

I sniffled loudly, registering what Rogue had said.

"You, like, talked to him, right?"

Rogue nodded, remaining as calm as possible although I could tell she was angry.

"As much as ah hate ya for what ya did to him," she started, "Ah guess ah can understan why ya did it."

"I didn't want to, like, hurt him or anything. I just took the easy way out."

She gave me a strange grin.

"Ah can tell. Settlin for Lance? That says it there. Ah know ya care for him, sugah, but he ain't the one yur thinking bout all the time. Why not jus give in?"

"And go out with Kurt? I can't! I hurt him enough as it is. If I chose him over Lance, I'd only end up hurting him. Kurt and I could never have a 'normal' relationship. I mean, like, he's-he's-"

"A furry-faced freak, right?"

Her cold response gave me a cold chill. And as much as I would like to think that I wasn't being shallow…I couldn't help but feel the need to stab myself as that comment hit home.

I swallowed nervously, carefully choosing what to say.

"I…I just don't want to hurt him…"

My voice sounded even more pathetic to me, like a childish whine. I say this over and over again but does it really mean anything to me?

"An bein with someone else ain't hurtin him?"

As much as I would want to tell her to shut her trap, or that our situation was none of her business, she was right. I know that she wasn't purposely torturing me but only sticking up for her adopted brother.

She looked at me with new found seriousness and I felt myself shudder under her gaze. Her expression grew cold and her eyes screamed all the words that I know she couldn't bring herself to say to me. Then, without compassion, she absently stalked back to her bed and plopped down into s sprawled position.

"By the by, sugah, Lance called."

Again, I couldn't help but shudder through the coldness of her voice.

- **To Be Continued**

- **Selene Tsukino**

**-A/N**: Please review and tell me what you think so far. Yeah, I know that this chapter sucks but the next one will be a hell of a lot more exciting.


	3. Regrets

**-A/N:** Here's chapter 3. Just to warn everyone, even though this is a Kurtty fic, this chapter does have Lancitty in it although it won't last for long. It's still written in Kitty's POV (I know some of you want Kurt's POV but that might come later) and in case anyone is wondering (trust me, with the situations dealt in this fic, you might start to wonder) Kitty is 16 years old.

**-Disclaimer:** The usual, I don't own any of the characters or X-Men: Evolution.

~~~~~~~~~~ = Flashback, written in third-person POV

~*~*~*~*~ = Scene change

**-Heartbreaker**

-By Selene Tsukino 

What would you think if you saw a girl, barely sixteen, wearing a pink tank top and denim capris, shivering uncontrollably as she walked along the dark streets of Bayville, blatantly aware that it was well past midnight? Would you feel sorrow or remorse? Would you think her to be some kind of idiot? Or would you just dismiss it as an event that occurs regularly?

As much as I would like to know the answer to that question, no answer would ever come. For starters, the streets were deserted with only the distant sounds of an occasional vehicle to break the silence. Even though I hate being alone, I felt grateful that -HE- hadn't followed. He could be stupid sometimes but for once he actually took me seriously and did the right thing.

Even now, as I wander aimlessly through the dark, struggling to not breakdown in the middle of the street and sob my heart out (it's all that I ever seem to do anymore), I can't get his harsh words out of my head. I guess now would be the time to retrace my steps and give out some sort of explanation.

It all started a few hours ago…

~~~~~~~~~~

His brown eyes bore down into hers, filled with more love and hope than one could expect from someone like him. The fearless leader, the rebel, was reduced to nothing more than a harmless kitten as his vulnerability kicked in and he opened his heart to a girl -the enemy- of confused intentions.

He always questioned her, always doubted, that her feelings for him were of complete and honest sincerity. Her decision to be with him seemed like something out of a dream. Although, in his dreams, she never cast sad glances at a certain dark-haired boy…or silently cried over that boy's broken heart the second –his- back was turned.

And as he looked into her beautiful eyes, he saw…confusion? Sadness? Dullness? Her usually vibrant eyes remained….distant. It was as if her mind was somewhere else… thinking about a certain yellow-eyed boy…

"Kitty?"

She continued to stare at him, as if looking through him. He then decided to test his theory, wishing that he wasn't right, that she wasn't thinking of blue-boy.

"Katzchen?"

He knew he sounded cold and bitter. But, as he saw her eyes grow wide, welled with pain and regret, her body flinch at the mention of her pet name, he realized just how right he was. How he despised being right.

Detecting his despite, Kitty forced an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, Lance," she whispered, looking down at her trembling hands. "I-I was just, sort of…distracted…"

A remorseful laugh left his throat, causing the petite brunette to flinch yet again. Her eyes remained away from his piercing gaze, her silence causing yet a heavier weight to fall upon his delicate heart.

"Distracted?" he snorted. "What is it that's more important than us at the moment?"

He knew he sounded rude and arrogant. And it tore him up inside, knowing that his words were hurting poor Kitty. But he hated this game they were playing. For the last two weeks, since she waltz into his arms, he felt like her forced choice. Not who she wanted but who she felt compelled to settle for.

Kitty finally brought her eyes to his, realizing how pathetic she probably looked. 

"N-nothing's more important than us," she stuttered. "It's…It's just that…"

She didn't know what to say. She couldn't find any response that would satisfy him.

Without thinking, Lance pulled her close, gently placing a kiss on her shaking lips. At first, he could sense her tense body hesitating his bold move. But…as he began to slowly stroke her back, he felt her begin to relax in his arms. She started to kiss him back as the innocent peck grew to a passionate battle, both sides eagerly seeking dominance.

Regardless of his recent worries, Lance pushed that past him, thinking that if Kitty wasn't completely satisfied with him, she wouldn't be here in his arms. Feeling his mind at ease, his lips left hers and began to slowly make their way to her neck.

Just a few inches below her chin, he began to nip and suck at her recently tanned skin. Feeling a bit more confident, he allowed his hands to slowly travel up her pink tank top, trying his best to not startle her as he began stroking her abdomen.

As the passion heated up, Lance was rewarded with her gurgling moans and erratic breathing. Until…

"Mmm….Kurt…."

And then he let her go. 

The pain in his eyes…

The sound of his voice shouting "It's Over!"…

The strangled sob that left her throat…

The blue-furred, yellow-eyed mutant that filled her thoughts…

It had been too much for her to take.

After a moment, hanging her head in shame, Kitty walked out of his room, filled with sadness and sorrow. She heard him call to her, apologizing and suddenly taking his harsh words back. But it was too late. The damage had been done.

She felt him chase her down the stairs of his home…reach for her arm…and pull her into his embrace. And for the first few seconds, she remained, missing the feel and comfort of her protector's arms. But this wasn't her protector…her guardian angel (or elf)…this was Lance, the boy who's heart she broke.

Coming to her senses, she phased through his arms.

"Don't follow me."

The seriousness of her voice scared her. She was rarely that serious. But the reaction that it had on the leader of the BoM convinced her that this was the right thing to say, that maybe he would understand.

Muttering an apology, she phased through his door, without a single glance back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Since then, I've wandered around, walking up many alleys and down many streets as I cleared my thoughts. I wanted to go back home, well aware that Logan would kill me the second that I stepped through the front door. But I wasn't afraid of him (okay…maybe a little). I was afraid of facing Kurt. Of facing the mistake I had made. I just couldn't deal with all this pain right now.

Maybe I was meant to make the mistake of choosing Lance. Maybe that would have been the only way to realize how much Kurt meant to me, regardless of his 'blue' appearance or overbearing 'class clown' attitude. But hadn't I known I was in love with Kurt all along? I guess I just wasn't ready to accept it.

I felt the cold, night air nip away at my bare shoulders. Looking ahead, I realized that I was only about a ten minute walk away from the mansion. And I had to return sometime. I had to stop running away from my problems and my fears. It was time for me to do the right thing…

~*~*~*~*~

Advantages of being able to phase through solid matter: entering the mansion without disturbing everyone. I knew that in the morning, since by now everyone knew I hadn't returned at curfew, Jean or the Professor would interrogate me to find out where I was and why I hadn't returned. Oh well. I'll save my worry for tomorrow.

Through the dark hallway, I stared at his door, contemplating whether I should just open it or phase through. I don't know how long I just stood there, fearing the next step that I would be taking. Maybe a few seconds…maybe a few hours…all I could remember was the throbbing of my heart.

I closed my eyes, picturing the scene in my head. There would always be over a million results of a situation. But two stuck out in my mind: his rejection or his acceptance. I know that by going to him now…by putting my heart on the line like he had done so many times for me…I should probably expect the same answer I always gave him: rejection. But if he truly meant those words he'd said…he would forgive me for hurting him…right?

I willed myself to step forward. Just a small step, with my foot barely phasing though his door. I didn't want to rush into this but I also couldn't run away from this. It was now or never.

I took another step. And with each small step I took, I felt my heart rise higher in my throat, my lips becoming dry and parched. With each step, I came closer to the final truth…the final confrontation…

My eyes scanned his dark room, finally coming to rest on his resting form, lying peacefully above the covers of his still-made bed. He lightly snored, a solemn look plastered on his face. And, without really knowing why, I brought my hand up to his blue-furred face and lightly stroked the side of his cheek.

I felt my skin tingle at the sensation of my skin against his own. And I felt that old longing return. I needed him to be my protector…to drive away the fears that plagued the mind of the young girl trapped inside me…to remind me of the wonderful gift of life that we had been blessed with, even if we were different…but I also needed him to just be with me.

I know that if anyone had happened to witness what I was about to do next, they probably would have thought I was crazy. I wrapped my arms around fuzzy elf, resting my head on his shoulder and just stood there, waiting for some sort of reaction. Okay, so maybe I should have just poked him, slapped him, screamed, coughed, or done something else to wake him up but all I could think of was physically touching him the way he had done to me before this whole mess had started.

And as expected, the elf awoke.

-To Be Continued 

**-By Selene Tsukino**

**-A/N:** Okay, I did promise a hell of a lot more excitement because I have some VERY interesting interaction that is to go on as soon as Kurt awakes. But…I thought that I would be a bit more evil and leave a little cliffhanger. Once Kurt hears Kitty out, will he accept her? Or will Kitty's heart be broken? The answers in the next chappie! Please review!


	4. Confession

**-A/N:** Yay! I finally finished the final chapter to "Heartbreaker". I never did expect that it would be extended past the first part. Anyways, it is, and I honestly had no idea how this fic was going to end until I sat down and started writing it. I balanced between both possible conclusions; a Kurtty ending or an ending where both are left heartbroken. I kept leaning from one to the other. But now it's been decided. What did Kurt choose? Read to find out! ^_~

**-Special Thanx to:**

**Memai**- I think she's the most recent reviewer. Anyways, thanx for your lovely comment and you are so right that the best stories are those that aren't predictable. Hopefully this ending will please you.

**Neko-chan**- Thanx for pointing out my writing technique. I originally wanted to make this fic Journal style, where each chapter would be a page from Kitty's diary. That's why it's unusually told from her POV.

**Iron Raven**- Yet more great comments. I like how you're perceiving the Elf. I had roughly the same idea within my mind when I debated on how Kitty should go about trying to get Kurt to accept her. Two great minds think alike ^_~

**StevDown**- I'm so sorry! I didn't get a chance to do a part in Kurt's POV! I know that it would make for an interesting change but I just felt the need to stick to Kitty. I hope you don't mind.

**Sprocket**- Heehee, you really had me freaked out. When the first word you mentioned was "Horrible", I started thinking "Oh no! I guess my fic does totally suck." But your comments on Kitty changing her mind got me considering a continuation even more. Thanx!

I would also like to thank the following people for all their wonderful reviews: **Koneko Tenshi, Klutz, Shadowkitten, Erin, raniatlw, Fraulisa, Nacoutte, RedLion, Mish, LewsTherinInsanity, Iceangel, JDH3, Cassandra, Luka, **and** Xlade**. Thank ya'll for reading my fic!

**-Disclaimer:** I don't own Kurt or Kitty or any of the Xmen: Evo characters.

**-Heartbreaker**

**-By Selene Tsukino**

His pale-eyes glowed in the darkness, staring deep into my own. At first, through the glare of the moon shining through his window, I noticed the relief and relaxed smile that remained plastered across his face. But as soon as that had appeared, it disappeared as his pained eyes looked away and his smile became nothing more than a simple frown. Without another thought, he rolled onto his side, as if willing me to be an illusion.

"Kurt?"

No response.

I felt my mouth go dry. I needed to tell him. I needed to end this silly silent feud. I needed to be with someone whose love I could return.

I needed him.

"Kurt?"

I reached out and gently touched his shoulder. I expected him to push me away or to say something ~anything~ but…he remained silent.

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered.

He remained still.

"You-you were right, Kurt," I started again, feeling my voice on the verge of cracking. "There is something between us, something that I've, like, refused to consider."

My voice sounded like a gentle squeak, filled with much emotion and pain. I felt like a child, too afraid to reach out to what she wanted, too afraid to take on something that meant everything to her. I felt afraid…with my heart left in the hands of my best friend who could as easily reject me as I'd done to him…

"Ever since you, like, told me those three words with your silly German accent…ever since even before you admitted to anything, when you held me in your arms and let me cry because Lance had been dating some ditzy blond…"

I felt my heart thumping wildly, a few tears slide down my cheek. I held my breath for a moment, slowly inhaling and exhaling, keeping control over my emotional state. I had to let this out.

"Ever since Rogue hurt you when we were trying to help her…ever since I've realized the person beneath that blue fur, I've known my feelings for you went, like, beyond a simple friendship."

He suddenly sat up in his bed, turning to face me as I found the courage to finish what I had to say. I saw the desperation in his eyes…the silent plea that begged for me to finish…

I sat down beside him on his bed, holding both of his three-fingered hands within my own. My blue eyes were clouded over with my tears and I sniffled nervously, holding back the sobs within me.

"I'm tired of running," I simply stated. "All I've been doing is, like, running. I've been afraid of believing in what we have. I've been too afraid of what I feel, which is why I went to Lance. I thought I did, like, love him. But it was only my lustful desire to be perfect, to have a perfect boyfriend and a perfect life. But I could never be perfect…"

I saw his pointed ears twitch, his tail hanging tensely within the air. He opened his mouth but I slowly shook my head, silently asking him to remain silent as I finished my confession.

"…because…there is no such thing as perfect. Nothing in this world is, like, ever totally perfect. So I'm tired of trying to be what I can never be, especially when it isn't what my heart wants. And what my heart wants is…you, Kurt."

He stared at me, looking as if he were afraid to believe that this was actually happening.

"Ich liebe dich," I said, trying not to cringe at my horrible German accent.

Kurt's eyes went wide with shock. I knew that if I wasn't struggling to not sob, if this wasn't my ultimate confession, I probably would have fallen off his bed laughing hysterically. The look on his face was absolutely priceless!

"I realize the mistake I made and I want to make things better," I confessed. "So please…give me a chance."

I didn't know what to expect next. Everything was out there…no more denying, no more regretting…all that was left was to either heal a broken heart or receive one in return.

I waited for his response. He looked deep in thought, probably determining what should happen next. For a few moments, nothing was said through the tense silence. And as each second went by, my heart slowly plummeted to the pit of my stomach as I began to fear the worst.

"Katzchen…"

And then he kissed me. The moment I felt his lips touch mine, and that burning sensation that enflamed my body, I felt myself melt away into a different world…where there was only him and I. 

I felt my trembling body relax in his arms, deepening our hesitant kiss as our passionate desires took over. Never in my life had I felt so much love…so much passion…so much hope that everything was going to be all right. Kurt made me feel safe and secure, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I realized later that I held onto him just as tight, fearing that the moment I let go, he would no longer be mine.

Maybe it wasn't just a silly fear. Maybe it was actual instinct that sent me a warning signal moments before it actually happened. Or maybe it was just cruel destiny. But the moment I felt him push away…I knew. This was it.

He looked at me with a pained expression, his hands trembling at his side. In his crouched position, he suddenly looked weak and afraid. But his determination kicked in and after a moment, he looked at me with sudden seriousness.

"I'm sorry, Katzchen," he whispered sadly.

I reached out and took hold of his hand, gently stroking it as I felt my heart break. I wanted to say something but my mouth was too dry to un-cluster the words I held at the back of my throat.

He slowly pulled his hand from my grasp.

"You hurt me, in a vay no one else has. You broke mein heart vhen you vent to Lance. And it hurt me more than anything. You gave up on vhat ve had before anything could start. Right now is not the time for this, Katzchen," he said. "I am not ready to forgive you."

I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to tell him not to give up on us, to forgive me and let life continue its torturous flow. But I couldn't. All I could do was respect what he said and accept it for what it was.

I didn't stop the tears from flowing. I didn't stop the pain that coursed throughout my body. I didn't do anything…except allow this horrible mess to end the way it had started, at the cost of broken hearts.

"Good night, Elf."

And I forced a smile, oblivious to how strange it would have looked on my tear-stained face.

He smiled back, although the hint of a few tears haunted his yellow eyes.

"Gute nacht, Katzchen."

For the final time, I walked away. It seemed like I had spent most of that love-triangle always walking away (sometimes running)…and in the end, the result was always the same; hearts were broken, friendships were in need of being rebuilt, and no one ever did get what they want.

I wish I could look back at this event and smile. But I can't. It took many months for Kurt and I to regain that friendship we once had, but even then, nothing remained the same. There were still sore wounds left from the bitter ending. 

Both of us are constantly watching out for each other, like two guardian angels, although always at arm's length. It was tough watching him and Amanda get back together. Whenever I saw him put his arm around her, laugh along with her jokes, and give her his dazzling elfish grin…I felt as if my heart was being squeezed by the hand of fate and I asked myself "Why can't that be me?"

-The End 

**-By Selene Tsukino**

**-A/N:** Sorry if any of you are disappointed with the ending. But I decided to stick with the angsty ending, seeing as it would be more suited for this fic's title. If you get a chance to, please review and complain about the ending, if you want to. Thanx for all the awesome reviews! It's what kept me going. And, just to let everyone know, there most likely will not be a sequel or another chapter. Sorry for the inconvenience.


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